Shallow Thoughts

Back in the day - before they had a football penalty called 'Delay of Game' - it was called 'Too Much Time in the Huddle'. But I'm not thinking about football. I'm wondering if we spend too much time and money trying to figure out and implement what we think Jesus said, then we spend just doing what he said. Actually, I'm not wondering if, at all; more, recognizing that.

But it's easy for me to say that.  See, I recognize that I am lucky because I am barely a faint blip on the radar screen of local ministry, and I am positively far less than a micro-speck of astral dust in the cosmos of "professional Christianity".  And that anonymity affords me the great luxury of reading and listening much more than writing and speaking.  Truly, I have a great deal more time to contemplate what I hear national leaders say, than all whose words are parsed by people like me.  My relative obscurity also gives me ample time to watch them, and make snarky comments.  So let's get to it, shall we?

I was watching someone on a "Christian television station" today (no, I don't watch TBN, but on my TV it's right between ESPN and C-SPAN and sometimes I can't help it), and there was a guy on there that I know of, have read, seen, met and spent a bit of time with.  And he knows what he's talking about.  No doubt about it.  But that's not what I'm talking about.  He is a respected leader of a really big honking church.  I'm not going to say his name, or the name of his church...'cause it's not important. This guy is a serious influencer, and I am certain that MANY have found Christ through his ministry...but I'm not talking about that (because it doesn't lend itself well to snarky commentary).  While I make a point about the whole TBN vibe, I'm going to keep this blog post purposely shallow...and focus pretty much on the way the dude looks.     

'Cuz' is what I call a "rock star" preacher, baby.  You know...never actually got his rock star jones out playing in a rock and roll band, but gets it out now on Sunday morning?  Dudes, the whole wretched being on TV deal, in that venue, dressed like "The Artist formerly known as...", just gags me.  For real.  I don't know how else to say it.  Here's these grown men, sitting around on really stupid looking gilded furniture talking about what a blessing they are to each other in front of a live studio audience "Amen"-ing them, broadcast (presumably) to millions around the globe, and I'm like, "WHAT IS THIS FOR?"  Immediately, Matt Casper's great quote came to mind (you'll hear it again on Sunday), "Is this what Jesus told you guys to do?"   

Someone needs to throw a yellow flag right in the middle of the set, blow a whistle, and holler, "Penalty!  Too much time in the huddle!" At the very least, the absolutely over-40 leader of the big honking church should get flagged for the bleached perm, thumb rings, and the Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band jacket he was wearing over a fluorescent argyle sweater vest (I'm NOT making this up). Dude, do you seriously dress that way when you go to Wal-Mart?  Mercifully, the whole mess was just a few remote clicks away from ESPN, where I was originally headed.

Guys, seriously, if Crossroads ever gets to be some big honking church, and you see me on TV wearing eye make-up and dressing like Gary Glitter, someone please (PLEASE!!!) knock me in the side of the head with something large and heavy, and remind me how unimportant I really am.