Okay, I might as well admit it. I think I might be some freak of nature like Quasimodo or something. Maybe I'm like the Christian equivalent of high-octane (yet at times just as mumbly and forgetful) Ozzie (not of Ozzie & Harriet...the other Ozzie) as I stay awake for hours on end working on stuff - stuff - stuff, and prowling back and forth on the small rug in my 2nd floor office like some kind of caged animal, ruminating on ideas and concepts for several projects at once, slamming down in the seat in front of my computer to write, or scrawling lengthy paragraphs on multiple yellow pads, or (my personal favorite) making connections between talking points like a flow chart on the back of a piece of cardboard and then turning them into multi-colored hieroglyphic treasure maps using...PowerPoint. You know, to preach from. Riiiiiiiight. ("Sahnctuary...Saaaahnc-tuary!")
Dudes, I go through cycles like this where I work...all the time. I don't "do" vacations, or take days off anyway. Occasionally, me and Leslie steal away for a few wonderful hours, but we generally keep grinding away at the task at hand. Honestly, it has nothing to do with the fact that I pastor Crossroads. It's just the way I'm wired. I don't know how to do it any differently. And sometimes it sucks. 'Cause it'll be like...oh, I dont' know, let's see...1:42 in the morning and I was going to go to bed so I could read for an hour, before I get up at six-thirty or so but I remembered that I didn't Blog today. This is really retarded isn't it? (I know, you're not supposed to use that word like that. No offense, okay?)
So, some genius re-tooled the way biblegateway.com looks (and works). Probably to make it "better", right? But after some manipulation, here's hope:
Lazy people are soon poor, hard workers get rich. Proverbs 10:4
Wise words bring many benefits, and hard work brings rewards. Proverbs 12:14
Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. Proverbs 12:24
And I get all stoked on those and a dozen other scriptures like them, and then I read:
It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones. Psalms 127:2
Thank you, Lord. Goodnight.
In so many of your blogs you mention your schedule and your lack of sleep. I know this is your wiring and the way the Lord made you, but I can't help but worry about my pastor. My prayer is that the Lord will show you when its time to slow down so we will not travel the same road that others have, namely, Bill Hybels. I know you know what I mean. God Bless you and I pray that real rest finds you and Leslie both.
ReplyDeleteMM
Fair enough, bro. I agree. I totally understand. (I mean, I worry about our Children's Pastor too...what with him off flying giant Russian helicopters in the middle of a war and all. Ha, ha!).
ReplyDeleteI think there's a psychological component for all of us. As men, we sometimes feel like we have to work harder, longer, faster and more productively than our fathers did. Like it or not, it think the truth is, we all have a little bit of the "something to prove" thing stirring in us. Must be God-given. Just need to apply it for its God-purpose.
As far as Hybels goes...he's my hero in a natural sense. But I'll have to work twice as hard the rest of my life to be a fraction of the man he is (there I go again). Ha, ha! Men are something, huh? Can't wait for MAFIA today at noon. Can't wait to see you again.
I'll make you a deal, my brother. As soon as we both get through this next year, I'll make a pledge to get six hours sleep every night, and you promise not to go places that have a "stan" in them.
I love you Matt, and I love how you not only worry about, but also pray for, support, and care for not just your own family, but your church family as well.
You have a pastors heart. I miss you (in a totally manly way, that is).
BTW - the Lord gave me sweet peaceful sleep last night. Six hours of it!
isn't it great to read psalms and think of yourself as one a God's loved ones! it's awesome!
ReplyDeleteps- I've found that 20 to 25 minute max. nap in the afternoon does amazing things when your sleep deprived!